This is an example of why lying is bad:
The Mother calls me from Paris
TM: Jill I need you to pick up The Boy from school tomorrow at two and bring him into Zürich so I can take him to the doctor's for his appointment at three. Is this a problem?
Let me explain why it was a problem: 1. The Mother (on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays) is finished with work at 12:30 2. TMoTB, two weeks prior, has asked if I could stay longer (until 2:30) so she could go to this lunchtime concert. I had agreed because it usually isn't a problem.
After I raised these concerns she said:
TM: Didn't I tell you this before? Or was that just The Father?
Jill: Nope, this is the first I've heard of it.
TM:Well I have a call at one for work and I don't know if it will be finished in time. If you leave TMoTB's at two then you will have plenty of time to get The Boy and drop him off by 2:45. I've been to those lunchtime concerts before and they are usually only an hour. Well... I guess I could take the call in the car while I'm driving.
Jill: It's fine. I'll just call TMoTB and tell her that I need to leave earlier.
TM: Do you want me to call TMoTB?
Jill: No thank you, I'd prefer to do it myself. (What am I, in middle school? Having a parent call to confront some one? No way. Actually my parents never in middle school, or ever for that matter, called a school/coach/etc. to complain. Beneficial to both of us I think.)
I wasn't my usual cheerful, chatty self on the phone with her because I was tired from staying up half the night with her child and I couldn't believe she was changing my schedule around less than 24 hours prior which she could tell but I really could care less.
TM: Well TMoTB knows that we are your first priority.
Jill: Yup. It's fine. I'll work it out.
Which I and TMoTB did. She came home by 1:45 and The Boy and I were waiting for his mother by 2:40. When she showed up at 2:55 I didn't even bat an eyelash. I apologized for changing TMoTB's schedule around (for maybe the 37th time) but she is always flexible, accommodating and incredibly gracious.
Well this afternoon I was chatting with TMoTB about my staying extra (she said I should have talked to her first and she would have told me not to!) because she was sad that I and two of her good friends were leaving. She said, "I can't believe three people so close and important to our family are leaving us!" And you know what? She didn't mean it in a "I'm sad you're leaving because you're a great babysitter sort of way," which I thought was nice. In the end she said it was probably best that I stayed because if I hadn't The Mother would have made my last month miserable because (not my words), "She's incredibly mean and hurtful when she doesn't get her way." (I told TMoTB to ask her husband, an American, what the word "pushover" means.) Anyway she said, "Oh and you know something funny? The Mother wasn't on a call last Thursday. She wasn't even at work! My friends told me." Are you kidding me? You had two people change around their already made plans to SHOP?
This is a lesson: either don't let your au pair babysit for your friend because she'll find out when you've been lying to her or just don't lie to your au pair.