[Just so you know, when I say I stood up for myself I did it in a respectful way not an accusatory way. I just explained my issues (Boy) and that I was having trouble dealing with it (him).]
What I really wanted to write about today was where I'm headed next. I feel like I'm being pulled in a bunch of different directions, but the only one pulling is me.
-There's a part of me that wants to stay in Switzerland and/or Zürich area. Get a job and an apartment and make a life here for a couple more years.
-There's a part of me that wants to move to a new country and try to find my way there. But I would need a job separate from my house.
-There's a part of me that just wants to save money, move to France for the summer, rent a shitty apartment and drink French wine and speak French for a few months.
-There's a part of me (this part I realized yesterday) that wants to be with my friends from college. Now I always want to be with my friends from college, but yesterday I realized that I don't want them to remember me in the coming years only from my e-mails. People always say, "This is the only time in your life when you can do this." But this might also be the only time of my life where I can live in an apartment with some of my best friends in the world.
-There's a part of me that wants to move to a new city in the States, away from everyone and anyone I know, and start afresh. I think I have some weird need for change. To prove it to myself that I can make it in a new place. I always went to sleep-away camps alone. I switched high schools again, this time alone. I wanted (and did) to go to college alone. I wanted to study abroad alone (but two of my best friends came and I couldn't have been happier to have them there). I wanted to move to Switzerland alone. I can do things alone, but I'm not sure I want to anymore.
-There's a part of me (that has grown bigger since I've been reading this book called, "A Walk Across America") that now wants to walk across America. My friend Kate (Mondays suck without you) and I entertained the idea before my dad gave me the book for Christmas. Now reading about it (even though he went in the 70s, and was a man. Two definite differences from what I would do. By the way, Jack are you interested in going with me? Come on, brother/sister gimmicks would be all over this!) I think about it more and more. I mean I travel all over Europe but what do I really know about America?
I have all these options, I just don't know which one would be best for me.
Any suggestions and/or votes?