Thursday, January 28, 2010

Repossessed

I don't know what it is about me, but people have always tried to take possession of me. It sounds weird I'm sure, but in my 23 years, I've had some really possessive friends.

The first instance I truly remember was in 3rd grade when a friend of mine called me on the phone to ensure that I would sit next to her every day for the entire school year. Sure, I guess you could say it's flattering but also a little weird. (If you want to know I actually stood up for myself and said, "I don't think that's fair," [I mean what if I got stuck on the edge and wanted to sit next to my best friend that day? I can't limit myself! Perhaps why I've had so few boyfriends...]. She and I made a compromise of sorts, where I ensured I sat next to her on even days or something like that...)

In college there were numerous people and groups claiming ownership of me. At one point in time (when I was still in my overachiever phase) my lacrosse team, my sorority, and student government all claimed to be my first priority, after academics that is. So that was tough to negotiate. My friends didn't like that lacrosse owned so much of my time come springtime and wanted to take me back... look who won that battle. (To be fair though it was either warming the bench or staying in Molly's already warm bed to watch Oprah...)

Like I said, people have always claimed possession over me.
Of course it isn't always with words that people have "claimed me," a lot of times it's also with actions. Like lately I feel like TM and TMoTB have been showing their "possession" over me. For instance, a couple weeks ago TMoTB had a lunch for her "French Women Club" and TM was there. At the start of the party I made myself scarce by taking TB on a 2 hour walk (meaning she slept and I read my book). When I walked back in the luncheon was in full swing, so I just popped my head around the corner to tell TMoTB that we were back. TM saw me and got a huge smile on her face and waved with both arms to say hello. I was so taken aback I almost turned around to see who was standing behind me, because clearly she was very excited to see them. TMoTB then introduced me around and when ladies spoke to me in English TM looked at TMoTB and said, "She understands French you know. She has lessons." And TMoTB said she knew. Feeling more than a little awkward I took TB away and when it was time for the cake (it was a special Galette des Rois--King Cake--for epiphany) TMoTB served me first. Now if you know etiquette you usually serve the most respected person first, so that was also a little awkward. TMoTB kept coming over to talk to me (which is fine because I love her) but every time she did TM did too.

A couple days ago TM said, "Some people brought up that TMoTB really likes having you around. We think it's because she more enjoys your company than she needs your help." Well, sure. But it's also easier to go grocery shopping without lugging an eight kilo mound (baby) and Jeep (stroller) and all the accessories (hazmat suit). When I told TMoTB that I was spending Saturday/Sunday in Paris (more on that later) she said, "Only one night in Paris!? Don't come in on Monday and stay another night! You must!" I told her I would but that I needed to be here for Boy & Girl to get them ready for school and feed them. She couldn't believe that I had to help get them dressed and pour their cereal (no lie) and kept reiterating what I always think, that I am pretty much unnecessary. I was telling TM that their Cleaning Lady (who is the bomb) told me I should stop saying the polite form of "you" in French (vous) and say the informal "tu" because she's only six years older than me. (Six years, one husband and two babies older...) The mom said, "Yes I noticed TMoTB says vous to you, whereas I say tu," pointing out that TMoTB and my relationship is more business-like and formal. But what TM didn't realize is that I say vous to her. So I constantly feel the pulls from either mother, maybe this isn't as awkward as it sounds, but I promise I feel it!

Yesterday when TF and I were discussing the new dishwasher (oh man, is this what my life has come to?!) he said, "I really wanted this model blah blah, but it wouldn't fit." I couldn't help but reply, "Oh, well that's the one TMoTB has."

Perhaps because TMoTB literally possesses me less I like her more...

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