Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Just Another Manic Monday

Okay so it wasn't a Manic Monday, but a Manic Tuesday/Wednesday? Definitely.

Tuesday I got up (already awake from a fitful night's sleep of coughing) and I was in a Bad Mood. (Capitalized for effect.) The kids didn't want to get up (I later learned that The Father let them stay up waaaay later to put together a toy... No wonder he told me I could go at eight, he didn't want me to know he was sabotaging my Tuesday!) and Boy started yelling (yelling!) at me because I opened his blinds and "let too much light in." The hour I spent getting them ready for school I was crafting my "I-quit-this-god-forsaken-job letter" (utilizing numerous choice words). I still didn't really have my voice so I canceled my French lesson and researched warm places to take me away this weekend (I think I'm running low on vitamin D).

When the kids got home my day got drastically worse. The Mother told me earlier that Boy, who had forgotten his homework the day before on the bus, who would actually forget his pants if you didn't lay them out for him (but not if you told him he could play Wii for 15 minutes), would have to do 1.5 hours of homework that evening to make up for it. She always gives me the longest homework time frames, I think as a punishment. So I told boy he had to 1. review his French vocabulary words, 2. do two pages of handwriting practice from his book, and 3. the "Language" section of his homework (that being a 5-8 sentence paragraph about something he learned over Christmas break. I seriously think this school is worthless). But those three things shouldn't be that difficult, right? Wrong. Boy has a hissy fit/tantrum/breakdown EVERY time he does homework (whether with me or his Mother) and these freak outs make mine pale in comparison (now that is a scary thought, eh mom?). I mean there are tears, gnashing of teeth, flailing legs, arms, every appendage that can possibly be flailed, is. And all this was because he couldn't think of anything that he learned over his three week Christmas holiday and he was, "Just sooooo tired!!!!!!!" I offered up how he learned he should stay on the skiing trail (the idiot went off it in an attempt to find his dad and promptly got lost) this only made him cry more because he said it was a really bad experience and "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING IT UP?!?!"

This is when I took a deep breath and channeled my saintly mother. "Boy," I said through teeth clenched so tight I have a jaw ache, "there are things that I do ALL THE TIME that I don't want to [i.e. seeing your face] but, like my mom said, it is really all about your attitude. You are going to have to do this, and the sooner you do it, the sooner it's over." After giving him countless suggestions (I wasn't even here during most of his break) I finally said, "What about the solar powered car you put together last night?" (So what if it didn't happen over his break!?! I was desperate.) Finally he mapped out his five sentences and was done. FIVE *%&^#(@ sentences!!!!! If I had taken that long to write five sentences I would still be in my freshman year at Denison. So after two grueling hours, homework was finished and Boy could play with Girl and I, I stupidly gave Girl a "High School Musical 3" microphone (because she really needs the encouragement to be louder and sing more High School Musical) and we pretended to do the news. Of course this led to bickering and fighting so much so that I entertained locking them in a room far, far away from me.

I got them settled, fed, and ready for bed (love rhymes) an hour earlier than normal (I figured that if they were "so tired" they should go to bed earlier, of course The Father let Boy stay up to put together another toy so Girl wanted to stay up too). That's when The Mother said, "Hey Jill can I show you something?" What she wanted to show me was what, in Boy and Girl's rooms, I should clean/put away/organize tomorrow. "I'd do it myself but I just don't have any time." So for the next half hour I cleaned up Girl's shelves and desk. I then read to Girl for the following half hour after that. What was The Mother doing for that hour? She was chatting on the phone. You know what? You're right. You are too busy.

But this story has a silver lining. A bright light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel being February and March, the bright light being another week of holiday!!!!!!! (That will bring my grand total up to five weeks.) The Father this morning said, "Oh we booked The Mother and Boy/Girl's trip last night. They are going to New York [to visit her brother] for the first week of their Spring/Easter break." Hallelujah! Sure the next week will be all Jill, all day, but still another week of holiday when I thought I was finished after Korea! As I tried to hide my excitement about another week of freedom, I couldn't help humming "Just Another Manic Weekday."

Also a little amusing. Today, at the au pair meeting, a girl who I only met once before said, "Yeah every time I'm folding laundry I always say to myself, 'At least I don't have to iron boxer shorts, at least I don't have to iron boxer shorts,'" because I told her about my fun with ironing before. She then went on to talk about how she has to scrub toilets. From now on, when I'm ironing boy's boxer shorts I'm going to say, "At least I don't have to scrub toilets, at least I don't have to scrub toilets!"

It really is all about your attitude.

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